Welcome to this week’s Blonde Intelligence with me, Ms. Roni, where I always seek to give you exquisite cranial repertoire. This week I have been gauging men reactions, reading comments and felt a need to discuss “mentanglements”. This is not to discuss anyone in particular, but the reaction from men and the cognitive dissonance of cheating. What I have observed is that it has sparked insecurities in men, but has it sparked men to examine their own behavior? Some comments made by men had me asking……are they inhaling chronic…dank…ganga…skunk…smokin smokin weed….or nah they on that shit out the pot…they got baking soda? Yeah…some comments were straight lollipoppin me. Lollipoppin’, is a term my daddy used that means jiving me, full’o shit, n@gga please. This week I had a friend tell me about a guy she was dating sneaking off getting married on her. Another said her husband wanted to bring another woman to live with them. Children, not child outside the relationship….see…lollipoppin.
According to Psychology Today, men and women see cheating differently and that men are more likely than women to be able to compartmentalize sex and intimate connections. In other words, meaningless sex. In women there is usually an element of intimacy, connection, or love and men are more likely to cheat to satisfy sexual urges with no strings attached (Weiss, 2017). Dr. Powell explains that infidelity is seen as the highest form of disrespect by some men. That some men can’t forgive infidelity because he feels that it is a reflection of him sexually and working it out would be seen as a sign of weakness, especially by friends (Bennett, 2014). The article goes on to inform that if the man’s fragile ego is impaired that it could possibly lead to violent behavior. I read some comments about beating ass and pulling up……
In another article a male participant felt that when a man finds out that his woman has been cheating, he gets mixed emotions; he’s angry, sad, jealous, frustrated and he may not know how or who to express his feelings for fear of being ridiculed and his reputation being damaged (Weiss, 2014). How many times have we seen men rag other men in this area? Another participant stated that the man is in a position of power in the relationship and when he is cheated on, it is seen as a betrayal. See this guy is lollopoppin me…. Women will forgive and forgive and forgive again, even when the cheating comes with baggage like extra children (Bennett, 2014).
So, men don’t get emotions about cheating until it’s them that’s being cheated on? Is it then that they realize that it doesn’t feel good when the rabbit got the gun?
“Maybe I deserve…for you to do all the things I did to you…Maybe I deserve”. (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tank/maybeideserve.html)
“But silly me, silly me….Ohhh….Tell me how could I ever forget to be your lover” (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jaheim/putthatwomanfirst.html)
“…All the things I took her through….I shouldn’t have lasted this long….when a woman’s fed up… then it’s too late to talk about it” (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rkelly/whenawomansfedup.html)
“This star of mine, is my star no more….I did you wrong and this I know…. I can’t let you go, I won’t let you leave…we’re made to be together” (https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/treysongz/madetobetogether.html)
Hmmm….don’t forget about your mentanglements….lollipoppin ass…you mad….you’ll be alright.
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Bennett, K. (2014, March 31). Men: Why we’re so devastated when you cheat. Retrieved from Jamaica Observer: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/men—why-we-re-so-devastated-when-you-cheat_16362503
Weiss, R. (2017, July 10). Why Men and Women See Infidelity So Differently. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201707/why-men-and-women-see-infidelity-so-differently
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